Thursday, October 9, 2014

And of course, the BYU football team is well-represented in the Mormon hymnbook:

The BYU Quarterback's hymns: Praise to the Man, How Great Thou Art, All Glory Laud and Honor, Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken, How Wonderous and Great, Sing Praise to Him, and Be Thou Humble
The BYU Offensive Center's hymn: Behold the Mountain of the Lord
The BYU Wide Reciever's hymn: Go Forth With Faith
The BYU Running Back's hymn: I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go
The BYU Defensive Linesman's hymn: Up, Awake Ye Defenders of Zion
The BYU Defensive Center's hymn: How Firm a Foundation
The BYU Fieldgoal Kicker's hymn: Did You Think to Pray?
The BYU Cheerleader's hymns: Who's on the Lord's Side? Scatter Sunshine, and With All the Power of Heart and Tongue
The Referee's at BYU football games hymn: Ye Simple Souls Who Stray
The BYU Football Coach Search Committee's hymn: Hope of Israel
The BYU Edwards Stadium PA Announcer's hymn: See the Mighty Priesthood Gathered
The BYU Coach's hymn in the Locker Room at Halftime: Rise Up O Men of God
The BYU Fan's hymns after a win: What Glorious Scenes Mine Eyes Behold!, How Wonderous and Great;With Wondering Awe
The BYU Fan's hymns after a loss to an unranked team: Come, Ye Disconsolate; A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief
The BYU Pep Band Director's hymn: We Are Marching on to Glory
The BYU Faculty Tour Guide's hymn: Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains
The BYU Yenta's (Matchmaker) hymn: The World Has Need of Willing Men
The Mormons are resourceful and hard-working people. This is reflected in their hymns. In fact, just about every profession has it's own song in the hymnal. Here are a few of them:
The Locksmith's hymn: A Key Was Turned in Latter Days
The Medium's hymn: A Voice Has Spoken from the Dust
The PETA hymn: All Creatures of Our God and King
The Night Watchman's hymns: As I Watch the Rising Sun and The Day Dawn is Breaking
The Bootlegger's hymn: As the Dew from Heaven Distilling
The Mattress Maker's hymns: Awake and Arise; Awake, Ye Saints of God, Awake
The Birthday Celebrant's hymn: Because I Have Been Given Much
The Israeli Tour Guide's hymn: Behold, the Mountain of the Lord
The Telephone Solicitor's hymn: Called to Serve
The Teaparty Recruiter's hymn: Choose the Right
The Light Bulb Installer's hymn: Come, All Whose Souls Are Lighted
The Bus Driver's hymn: Does the Journey Seem Long?
The Gardner's hymn: Earth With Her Ten Thousand Flowers
The Geologist's hymns: Firm as the Mountains Around Us; Rock of Ages
The Sycophant's hymn: Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken
The Self-Doubting Worrier's hymn: Have I Done Any Good?
The Mountain Climber's hymn: High On The Mountain Top
The Contractor's hymn: How Firm a Foundation
The Stressed-out Employee's hymn: I Have Work Enough to Do
The Positive Affirmation Self-Talker's hymn: I Will Not Doubt, I Will Not Fear
The Galactic Hitchhiker's hymn: If You Could Hie to Kolob
The Tourist's hymn: I'm a Pilgrim, I'm a Stranger
The Provo Valley Dweller's hymn: In Our Lovely Deseret
The Telephone Operator's hymn: Israel, Israel, God is Calling
The Bullfrog's hymn: Joy to the World
The Libertarian's hymn: Know This that Every Soul is Free
The Physical Therapist's hymn: Lean on My Ample Arm
The Newly Elected Politician's hymn: Let Earth's Inhabitants Rejoice
The Dry Cleaner's hymn: Let Us All Press On
The Rodney King hymn: Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words to Each Other
The Army General's hymn: Like Ten Thousand Legions Marching
The 1970s Guru's hymn: Love One Another
The Weather Forecaster's hymn: Master, The Tempest is Raging
The Laser Eye Surgeon's hymn: Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory
The Positive Affirmationist's hymn: Nay Speak No Ill
The Choir Director's hymn: Now We'll Sing With One Accord (a chord)
The Airline Pilot's hymn: Oh, Beautiful for Spacious Skies
The Audiologist's hymn: Oh Hark! A Glorious Sound
The Realtor's hymn: O Home Beloved
The Optometrist's hymn: Oh say, Can You See
The Philosopher's hymn: Oh say, What is Truth?
The Roast Show Host's hymn: Praise to the Man
The Hearing Aid Salesman's hymn: Rejoice! A Glorious Sound is Heard
The Hunchback's hymn: Ring Out, Wild Bells
The Urologist's hymn: Rise Up Oh Men
The Behavioral Therapist's hymn: School Thy Feelings
The Junior High Counselor's hymn: Shall the Youth of Zion Falter?
The Book Burner's hymn: Should You Feel Inclined to Censure
The CPAP Machine Seller's hymn: Silent Night
The Honeybee Keeper's hymn: Sweet is the Work
The Wedding Planner's hymn: The Happy Day at Last Has Come
The Divorce Lawyer's hymn: The Happy Day at Last Has Come
The Welder's hymn: The Iron Rod
The Lazy Farmer's hymn: The Lord My Pasture Will Prepare
The Efficiency Expert's hymn: The Time Is Far Spent
The Temporary Employer's hymn: The World Has Need of Willing Men
The Beautician's hymn: There is Beauty All Around
The UFO Investigator's hymn: 'Twas Witnessed in the Morning Sky; What Was Witnessed in the Heavens?
The Nobel Prize Selection Committee's hymn: Where Can I Turn for Peace?
The Carpenter's hymn: They the Builders of the Nation
The Farmer's hymn: We are Sowing
The Public Defender's hymn: Though Deepening Trials
The Las Vegas Wedding Chapel Preacher's hymn: On This Day of Joy and Gladness
The Drill Sargent's hymn: We are All Enlisted
The Lonely Roommate's hymn: Abide With Me
The Vampire's hymn: As the Shadows Fall
The Family Counselor's hymn: Home Can Be a Heaven on Earth
The FAA Plane Crash Investigator's hymn: It May Not Be on the Mountain's Height
The Schoolmarm's hymn: Help Me to Teach With Inspiration
The CEO's hymn: Again We Meet Around the Board
The New Orleans Football Offense Coach's hymn: Press Forward Saints.
The Baker's hymn: I Need Thee Every Hour
The Tire Repairman's hymn: Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel
The GPS Salesman's hymn: Guide Me to Thee
The Head Butler's hymn: Thy Servants Are Prepared
The Lie Detector Machine Technician's hymn: Truth Reflects Upon Our Senses
The Taxi Driver's hymn: I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go
The Search and Rescuer's hymn: Ye Simple Souls Who astray
The Union Boss's hymn: Ye Who Are Called to Labor
The Road Kill Chef's hymn: Carry On