Thursday, October 9, 2014

The Mormons are resourceful and hard-working people. This is reflected in their hymns. In fact, just about every profession has it's own song in the hymnal. Here are a few of them:
The Locksmith's hymn: A Key Was Turned in Latter Days
The Medium's hymn: A Voice Has Spoken from the Dust
The PETA hymn: All Creatures of Our God and King
The Night Watchman's hymns: As I Watch the Rising Sun and The Day Dawn is Breaking
The Bootlegger's hymn: As the Dew from Heaven Distilling
The Mattress Maker's hymns: Awake and Arise; Awake, Ye Saints of God, Awake
The Birthday Celebrant's hymn: Because I Have Been Given Much
The Israeli Tour Guide's hymn: Behold, the Mountain of the Lord
The Telephone Solicitor's hymn: Called to Serve
The Teaparty Recruiter's hymn: Choose the Right
The Light Bulb Installer's hymn: Come, All Whose Souls Are Lighted
The Bus Driver's hymn: Does the Journey Seem Long?
The Gardner's hymn: Earth With Her Ten Thousand Flowers
The Geologist's hymns: Firm as the Mountains Around Us; Rock of Ages
The Sycophant's hymn: Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken
The Self-Doubting Worrier's hymn: Have I Done Any Good?
The Mountain Climber's hymn: High On The Mountain Top
The Contractor's hymn: How Firm a Foundation
The Stressed-out Employee's hymn: I Have Work Enough to Do
The Positive Affirmation Self-Talker's hymn: I Will Not Doubt, I Will Not Fear
The Galactic Hitchhiker's hymn: If You Could Hie to Kolob
The Tourist's hymn: I'm a Pilgrim, I'm a Stranger
The Provo Valley Dweller's hymn: In Our Lovely Deseret
The Telephone Operator's hymn: Israel, Israel, God is Calling
The Bullfrog's hymn: Joy to the World
The Libertarian's hymn: Know This that Every Soul is Free
The Physical Therapist's hymn: Lean on My Ample Arm
The Newly Elected Politician's hymn: Let Earth's Inhabitants Rejoice
The Dry Cleaner's hymn: Let Us All Press On
The Rodney King hymn: Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words to Each Other
The Army General's hymn: Like Ten Thousand Legions Marching
The 1970s Guru's hymn: Love One Another
The Weather Forecaster's hymn: Master, The Tempest is Raging
The Laser Eye Surgeon's hymn: Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory
The Positive Affirmationist's hymn: Nay Speak No Ill
The Choir Director's hymn: Now We'll Sing With One Accord (a chord)
The Airline Pilot's hymn: Oh, Beautiful for Spacious Skies
The Audiologist's hymn: Oh Hark! A Glorious Sound
The Realtor's hymn: O Home Beloved
The Optometrist's hymn: Oh say, Can You See
The Philosopher's hymn: Oh say, What is Truth?
The Roast Show Host's hymn: Praise to the Man
The Hearing Aid Salesman's hymn: Rejoice! A Glorious Sound is Heard
The Hunchback's hymn: Ring Out, Wild Bells
The Urologist's hymn: Rise Up Oh Men
The Behavioral Therapist's hymn: School Thy Feelings
The Junior High Counselor's hymn: Shall the Youth of Zion Falter?
The Book Burner's hymn: Should You Feel Inclined to Censure
The CPAP Machine Seller's hymn: Silent Night
The Honeybee Keeper's hymn: Sweet is the Work
The Wedding Planner's hymn: The Happy Day at Last Has Come
The Divorce Lawyer's hymn: The Happy Day at Last Has Come
The Welder's hymn: The Iron Rod
The Lazy Farmer's hymn: The Lord My Pasture Will Prepare
The Efficiency Expert's hymn: The Time Is Far Spent
The Temporary Employer's hymn: The World Has Need of Willing Men
The Beautician's hymn: There is Beauty All Around
The UFO Investigator's hymn: 'Twas Witnessed in the Morning Sky; What Was Witnessed in the Heavens?
The Nobel Prize Selection Committee's hymn: Where Can I Turn for Peace?
The Carpenter's hymn: They the Builders of the Nation
The Farmer's hymn: We are Sowing
The Public Defender's hymn: Though Deepening Trials
The Las Vegas Wedding Chapel Preacher's hymn: On This Day of Joy and Gladness
The Drill Sargent's hymn: We are All Enlisted
The Lonely Roommate's hymn: Abide With Me
The Vampire's hymn: As the Shadows Fall
The Family Counselor's hymn: Home Can Be a Heaven on Earth
The FAA Plane Crash Investigator's hymn: It May Not Be on the Mountain's Height
The Schoolmarm's hymn: Help Me to Teach With Inspiration
The CEO's hymn: Again We Meet Around the Board
The New Orleans Football Offense Coach's hymn: Press Forward Saints.
The Baker's hymn: I Need Thee Every Hour
The Tire Repairman's hymn: Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel
The GPS Salesman's hymn: Guide Me to Thee
The Head Butler's hymn: Thy Servants Are Prepared
The Lie Detector Machine Technician's hymn: Truth Reflects Upon Our Senses
The Taxi Driver's hymn: I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go
The Search and Rescuer's hymn: Ye Simple Souls Who astray
The Union Boss's hymn: Ye Who Are Called to Labor
The Road Kill Chef's hymn: Carry On

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